The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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