I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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