drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
