when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
