that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize