also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
ok first of all what the fuck
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
