I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
