I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
