the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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