I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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