so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize