you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
