Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
