Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
