This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
