Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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