My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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