God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
