She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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