Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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