I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
