Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
