the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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