She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
