i will never coherently bang her
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
