I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
