The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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