That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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