Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
tell me about the fingering
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
