butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
