Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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