she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
