dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
