Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The power of my boobs compel you
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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