I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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