What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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