i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
