normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
