are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Floor bacon is actually really good
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
