ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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