I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
