Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
