At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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