It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
