What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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