my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
And then my night got REAL pukey
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize