That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize