how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
