Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
