Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
