I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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