she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
