Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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