I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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