So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
