That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Found the puke drawer
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
