Sponge bath it is.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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