yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
