Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
