conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She needs sedatives and a leash
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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