If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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